Random thoughts

By the time you hit the 28th year the heat is already on. You will be 30 soon or you are almost 30. Marriage, settled in life and the usual rant.

One day later on the other side of 30, I’m still unmarried and yet settled in life. Settled in my thoughts, settled in the way I live my life, settled in what I do. I’m responsible for what I do. Have the power to say no and the humility to accept that I’m so so very wrong. Have the acceptance of defeat and the ability to bounce back.

On the other hand, when it comes to the other kind of settling, age is just a number waiting to be experimented with each year…

On turning 30

Aside
Random thoughts

Day V

Caught between three spaces.

Reality, surreal and something you wish didn’t exist quite about then!

I belong to a particular age and I’m not married and thankfully happily so.

I don’t want to know the complications of a married life, of in-laws and raising kids nor do I want to know how miserable life gets when you grow old. I don’t want to know what happens when someone fiercely independent becomes helpless in one go. I don’t want to know the shock and the frustration.

Yes, I don’t want to experience the frustration of having to do things on my own which previously for a long time was done for me smoothly. I do things on my own now. People around me, who I care about, are waaaaaay past that league. I understand their frustration and try and help out but hello I need to do my own things as well. Give me the time, sorry the breathing space – aur kitna jaldi?

Feel like I’m living a full existence without an anchor. Floating in and out between the three spaces.

Wanting to move towards the surreal but reality and the not so wanted reality say hey! I need you to listen to me now! If u don’t, grrrrrr…

And come to think of it, its just the beginning. Maybe I’ll learn in the near future…

I’ll fall, but I’ll recover for sure or so I believe. I still have a lot of years to live, then why don’t I feel like that?

That needs an answer and real soon.

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